Valentine's Day
by Dusk Falling
Summary: She had never been alone on a Valentine's Day. ROYAI Mixes Anime and Manga. Songfic to Linkin Park's song "Valentine's Day"


A/N: Okay, so this is not the first fic I've ever written, but it is the first I've ever posted on this site, so please be nice and I hope you like it^^

Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist, nor do I own Linkin Park or "Valentine's Day".

_My insides all turned to ash, so slow_

_And blew away as I collapsed, so cold_

Riza Hawkeye fell to her knees, her tears mixing with the blood staining the fabric of his clothing. She sobbed into the back of the bloodied material covering his torn body, her fists wrapped tightly around the cloth with no intention of letting go. She never wanted to move. She whispered his name again, almost as if willing him to come back to her.

She felt so hollow, as if the cold wind that blew was slowly blowing away the last ashes of her life. It was fitting, really. It reminded her of Ishbal, and she wondered if this was anything like how they felt as they were turned to ash by the power she had entrusted him with, blowing away and forgotten.

A black wind took them away, from sight

_And held the darkness over day, that night_

They were both gone now. The only remnants of the two friends were the numerous pictures he had taken and the faded memories. In the end, it seemed that he would see his best friend much sooner than she. Perhaps this only made it harder to accept that she had failed him and broken their promise.

Though the sun would be coming up soon, she knew that the world would never be bright again. To her, it would always be dark. The darkness that would haunt her until the day she died, reminding her of her failure. Reminding her of this night that had burned itself into her memory.

And the clouds above move closer

_Looking so dissatisfied_

_But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing_

Some time passed and she felt a large, strong and yet gentle hand on her shoulder. She looked up, her vision still slightly blurry from the tears still forming in her eyes, to see Alex Louis Armstrong. He looked away as he saw the devastated, sorrowful look in her teary eyes.

"We must be going, Lieutenant."

When she didn't move he took hold of her arms and lifted her gently, just as she had lifted a small boy clinging to the body of his dead mother, who was murdered. She now knew how it felt, and resented it.

Armstrong began to guide her away, but she cried his name again and the man held out an arm, preventing her from going back for him much as he had done the day the man she now wept over had returned from the north, only to leave her again. He was always leaving her, but she would always be there waiting for him.

I used to be my own protection, but not now

'_Cause my path had lost direction, somehow_

She had always been there to protect him, perhaps even a bit overprotective. But he hadn't died. At least, not until now… She had always prided herself in being so strong and being able to guard his life, never letting him lose sight of his path to the top, but she had failed him…

No, it wasn't his path that had lost direction. It was hers. How could she let this happen? How could anything like this ever happen to them? She had failed him at that very moment and she would never be able to forgive herself.

A black wind took you away, out of sight

_And held the darkness over day, that night_

She lay alone in her dark, empty apartment that night, staring up at the ceiling numbly. She wanted to cry, but no more tears would come. She had never cried so much in her life before earlier that day. It had always made her feel weak, but perhaps that was because of how she grew up and lived her life, but now all she wanted to do was crawl into a shell.

She raised her arm from where it had been resting over her eyes and held it up, staring at it in the darkness. She could still see his blood on it, though she knew that it wasn't really there. She lowered her arm again and closed her eyes, once again seeing his face. She growled in frustration and picked up the pillow, burying her face in it in hopes of making the image disappear, but it didn't. It never would. His scent still lingered on the pillow and the tears finally fell once again.

And the clouds above move closer

_Looking so dissatisfied_

She glanced up at the sky to see the dark clouds hanging over her. It would soon start raining. It hadn't stopped since he had been gone.

She hated the winter.

_And the ground below grew colder_

_As they put you down inside_

With each shovel full of dirt she could feel her heart cracking until the final shovel was placed down and she was sure everyone could see it shattering into a million pieces.

Though she felt so torn, not a tear was shed. She thought she had felt numb before, but she now truly knew what it felt like. And as she stared at the gravestone, a hollow look in her eyes, she knew that this was truly as low as she could sink. This was what it felt like to die.

But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

She had never spent so much time in a graveyard before. She had spent quite a lot of time there in the years that followed his best friend's death and that of her parents, among many other friends, but this was different. They had healed from that, but she knew there was no healing from this. This was it.

She suddenly remembered the conversation she had had with him after his best friend's funeral, and the same thought came to her mind. The only difference was she had nothing to lose. She had already fallen so low. And so, as she left the graveyard several hours after the funeral, she made her decision.

So now you're gone

_And I was wrong_

She knew it was wrong. After everything that had happened…after everything that they had seen…she was still going to attempt it. She didn't care about research. She didn't care about what this might do if she was successful. She only cared about fixing what she had done.

He was gone. He was not going to come back. She knew that, but it was still worth a try. She would do it. For him.

I never knew what it was like To be alone

It was an odd feeling, being in the office alone. She couldn't remember a time when it was so quiet and empty here. What seemed like many years ago she would have welcomed the silence, but now it was uneasy. Now she truly was alone.

She looked around the room one last time before sighing and closing her eyes as she turned the lights out, closing the door for the last time.

On a Valentine's Day

That day had finally come. Everything was ready. Her research, complete. Her theory, exacted. Her mind, set. There was no going back now. She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. She saw his face as she closed her eyes, as she always did. She was really going to do this.

With these thoughts in mind, she slowly kneeled down, placing her hands on the edge of the transmutation circle.

A/N: Okay, so I kind of don't like how this turned out, but for anybody that didn't understand (I know it's kinda confusing. Sorry) Roy died and she's performing a human transmutation.

Anyway, reviewers will be loved greatly! =)


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